The 12 Habits Of Highly Defective People

by The Murderburgers

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  • Asian Man Records Pressing - Split Green/Blue LP (last copy)
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    US pressing of our 2016 album "The 12 Habits of Highly Defective People" courtesy of Asian Man Records.

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  • Asian Man Records Pressing - Split Green/Blue LP *SLIGHTLY DAMAGED SLEEVE* (2 copies left)
    Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    US pressing of our 2016 album "The 12 Habits of Highly Defective People" courtesy of Asian Man Records. Selling it for a bit cheaper than usual due to a corner or two of the sleeve being damaged in transit. The rest of the sleeve and the record itself are fine though.

    Includes unlimited streaming of The 12 Habits Of Highly Defective People via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

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1.
Another night of fight or flight mode Led me to the waterfront in Glasgow Sympathetic police found me there in tears And confiscated all my beers I apologised and got the next train home Where I filled up both sides of the paper Folded it up, kept it for later I meant every word that you never read That got ripped up, thrown away instead Hit reset and accepted that we're done And now that you're not at #21 I'm not looking up for light Or trying to track you down so I can say "Girl, can you tell I've been running again?" And nowadays I can think of better things to say Than "girl, can you tell I've been running again?" I'm out of breath, out of time, out of everything Winter has long since been put to rest And I can't fault spring for trying its best To make sure that it doesn't hurt to stare at the sun And to breathe colour into lifeless lungs And teach me not to be afraid to smile And to realise that everything is potentially worthwhile.
2.
You spent a couple weeks drying out In an effort to stop feeling like you were drowning Thumb and forefinger pressed in your eyes Grinding your teeth until they crack And banging your head against the wall Trying to ignore the fact you've started smoking again When you can't understand why she hasn't Where the fuck was I when all of this fell apart? Where was I when it all cracked and splintered? When did the 5am sunrise turn into 8am headlights? When was summer strangled by winter? Well I just can't work it out All know for sure is that things aren't the same And since we've both sewn our eyes shut we can't see who's to blame All we ever seem to do these days is argue over who feels worse I know I shouldn't argue, because I know you do I'm trying not to think about the sand in my lungs, gravel under my skin As I'm resting forever uneasy But as I undo the stitches and see signs of life I'm thinking that hope's not lost completely Still all we ever seem to do these days is argue over who feels worse I know I shouldn't argue, because I know you do.
3.
I have flashbacks every single time I close my eyes I don't think I want to close them anymore I can think of a sure-fire way to stop them, but I don't have the guts I hope I'll never ever have the guts I don't want to live a life of "I've been worse before'”s anymore I'm losing days left, right and centre I just want a pair of eyes to get lost in And then a rectangular box to rest in And a room with a view at the hospital somewhere in between But the past is still haunting my dreams - I remember thinking everything would be fine Then next thing I knew I was coughing up my stomach lining In a homeless unit at the top of high rise flats I was too embarrassed to let Holly come see me I remember my dad telling me I looked like a junkie To be fair to him back then he wasn't too far off On a regular basis I seem to find that things I thought I'd left behind Still stop me from getting out of bed in the morning And keep me lying here until the sunlight disappears Then all that's left for me to do is start counting Every single spring that digs into my spine and ribs Until I give up because I'm too exhausted Then turn the TV on, set the volume to 6 then turn and face the wall And pretend that none of this bothers me at all I have flashbacks every time I look into your eyes So I don't think I'm going to do that anymore.
4.
Another year of thinking that the air is too thick to breathe, I'm pretty sure my bones are full of holes and I'm inclined to believe that I've got it down to a fine art when it comes to feeling like shit for the most part and that I’ve got myself to blame for the unnecessary strain that’s putting pressure on my heart When I got your letter I didn’t know quite what to say, I’m sorry that you ever felt so low, but I’m glad that you’re okay You should be proud that you made it out alive, Especially after feeling so dead inside And I thank you for showing me that I have less reasons to hide Because the more alone I feel the more I realise that I'm not With every friend I'm sure I've lost the more I realise I've still got And although I still shut down sometimes and head for the westbound train Whilst trying not to think about social workers and house fires again I’ve now got those photos of Christine and can try to remember something good and continue trying to fix these holes I’m still trying my best to fix these holes I got off at Dalreoch station and walked down to the Leven's edge and thought about how I'd rather live than just survive Then I kicked a stone at a capsized boat and for a moment I felt strangely alive.
5.
My pockets are empty My face is grazed and my hands are raw I've got that shot in the stomach feeling And I really hope nobody saw What I've been doing for the past 4 hours Or for the past 4 years I don't know why I've been trying so hard To be part of a place where I don't fit in Whilst trying to ignore the constant reminder That nothing is going to knock me out of my stride every single time There's nothing more stressful to me Than being told that I look stressed out But I know that I'd be fucked without That fear of failure and of shame And that I've got it to thank As much as I've got it to blame For having enough band t-shirts to last me a lifetime But no money to get through the week And for having enough fond memories To not think that the future's so bleak or so unkind And with that in mind I'll try not to lose sight or lose touch or give up so easily this time.
6.
The Waves 03:12
Do you worry when you think about the things that you are? I do too and I've just realised it hasn't got me very far And that our dreams die with us in our hospital beds, All our long term plans get cut short instead The only long term things we have are loneliness and stress Cursing sunny days and praying for rain sure is getting old, And thinking that way never helped anyone, or at least that's what I'm told But all I'm seeing is the ones that I love Struggling to keep their heads above The waves that would drown me every time, If they weren't there to pull me out For what it's worth none of this would be worth it Without knowing that I'm not alone, But as the sun breaks through the clouds And shines through the rain drops on the window Right into our eyes we don't feel a thing Because we are too busy getting bogged down In the minor details Which makes it impossible to live in the moment So we live every day like it's our last By drinking ourselves to death and we can't get enough "Dear Christ, to be born for this!"* (* - quote from "In The Snack-Bar" by Scottish poet Edwin Morgan)
7.
Sitting in the kitchen at 4am with the light off trying to remember what it's like to feel alive Maybe if I go outside and attempt to retrace your steps around The Meadows then I might trigger something that will take my mind off all these sandstone buildings and grey skies that do their best to keep me dead but never quite lock my feet to the ground Now all my halfhearted goodbyes keep replaying in my head now that I'm barely ever around, and now that everyone is leaving I stayed up until 5:20 and listened to the shipping forecast to remind me of when I slept with a smile but nowadays I barely sleep at all I just lay awake with all these regrets and let them burrow in and expand that hole in my chest I never even knew that you had plans to go I was too busy fighting myself to even know so I guess this won't be the last time that I'm breaking down on the Peace Mile Now all these sandstone buildings and grey skies have got me by the throat and there's no other way to go but down and all my halfhearted goodbyes they don't mean shit, they're all redundant Now that no one's left around My pulse is nowhere to be found I've given up on colour and sound, and buried my heart underground I wonder if you'll ever come back but when does anybody ever come back.
8.
I haven't felt this low in a long time I haven't seen sunlight for 5 days and now the inside of my mouth is a mess just like the inside of my head I know I shouldn't have dropped by tonight but I just didn't know who else I could talk to and December never seems to listen when I kindly ask for it to leave All of this uncertainty and these unfinished bus rides are breaking me like you wouldn't believe So I just sit here grinding my teeth and think about that beautiful smile that's stuck in my head, I know she doesn't exist All she ever seems to want to do is talk to me at great length about our dead parents so I get up, get out and start walking and try to think of ways to make winter go And as I slipped and fell on black ice, I felt no urgency to get back up Sometimes it just doesn’t pay to get up just like most mornings Lay awake and think about the past A stairwell full of dirty needles and broken glass Nights spent on cold wooden floors scratching scabies 7 years on, fingers still crossed, hoping that maybe Someday I'll sober up, and I won't be a joke And I'll stop smoking half your cigarette before realising I don't smoke And I'll stop giving in to vices when I feel like life's a lost cause and I'll stop going to bed with a splitting headache then waking up with a sore jaw And I'll appreciate the small amount of time that you decided to spend with me instead of learning to hate you so that I can get this over with quickly And I'll stop checking for bad news about planes flying out of Scotland in case they've crashed into the ocean with my family members on them But until that day, I know I'll always be your pair of broken headphones on your loneliest ride home And you'll always be that song about a fresh start for which I can't seem to write the ending.
9.
4 weeks of epistaxis, the perfect combination of anxiety and dry air or maybe something worse? Either way I'll just ignore it like I did 3 years ago. I watched the rain for 2 hours this morning, Watched the sky turn from black to dark grey just like I used to while you were fast asleep For 2 weeks you woke up in tears and said you couldn’t work out why, and for some reason it’s bothering me more and more as the years go by I know that I’m to blame, but I swear I didn’t mean to make you cry and I know that it was all just such an uphill struggle, until you turned and walked the other way (and I don’t blame you) When I got to the top of those stairs and opened up my eyes I thought that I could deal with anyone, and I could deal with anything But after a confused version of the best intentions I just made you feel like shit And I know that it’s my fault and I’ll have to live with it. Now every now and then I hear the phone ring, but I seldom answer What would the point be? Only to burden friends and family with how I’m struggling, and how I’m lonely And every now and then my ears stop ringing and I can’t stand the silence So I turn on the radio and stare out the window and I try my best to remember the last time I saw leaves on those trees I've given up on stopping all these nosebleeds Just let the blood run and hope that I become so light headed that I pass out.
10.
On the bus on her way home Her heart beats like a metronome It doesn't speed up or slow down But it gets weaker with each pound And mine beats much in the same way When I've been sleepwalking all day After spending the night tossing and turning with the light still on She said she's never felt so low And can't go on just getting paid For taking shit from wannabe teachers That just couldn't get the grades And carving out an existence Instead of a living don't make sense And I can that look in her eyes She wants to sever ties and walk the other way Because she knows that if she stays That she'll be filed away Just like the rest of us We're all paperwork in folders that don't like to make a fuss And confuse never taking risks at all As being completely comfortable And don't mind sacrificing all our dreams For so much less than we ever thought that we would And dwell on corrections we'd make if only we could And then take out loans to pay for our own headstones When we could use the time we spend focusing on the end To fix the part that's in between But I know tomorrow is fucking useless when you can't get through today It's hard to get your point across when you've ran out of things to say And in the off chance you think of something The words just don't come out And I know last year was dire and this year might be the same But remember you're not just a number, you're not just a name You're not disposable, and above all you know It shouldn't feel this right to be broke and alone And you know that someday soon we'll find a place to call home And even though she looks like she's in despair every day She doesn't have to be filed away, and nor do we.
11.
No seats left at the back of the bus, “I really don't think I can do this” Left fist clenched and right hand around my throat Severe lack of trust in the person behind me Held out until I got to Grassmarket Whispered “thank you”, stepped off and exhaled then walked home as fast as I could whilst trying to ignore the wind and hail I should have listened to my own advice Or better yet not ignored all of yours Like when you said not to light the candle at both ends or else I'd soon have nothing left to burn and that it didn't matter which way I turned because the wind would cut through anyway Then in came the shin splints and that sandstorm inside my lungs that slows me down every time Coughing up dust, I sat alone on the pavement and I prayed that any moment I'd see the sun breaking through all of those dark clouds overhead that never seem to ever slow down but I just sat in the dark until there was nothing left to cough up.
12.
I’ve been dreaming about unlocked doors I try to stop the handle every time it moves It’s always me that’s on the other side and I’m never doing so well I’ve been waking up in panic every two hours Then getting up to turn the extractor fan on It’s the only thing that I can do to stop replaying all the shit you said That sounded way too familiar You said that life stopped being fun last year, and now you’re not convinced that it ever was You said you’ve lost interest in everything And that you just can’t pinpoint the cause I said trust me, I can sympathize I keep shutting down and I don’t know why And every time I step out the front door It seems like it’s always dark outside It’s always dark outside I just need 19 pence for Paracetamol and a pound for soluble vitamins So that I can convince myself I’m alright You just need as little sleep as I’ve had over the past few weeks to realise that There's gotta be something more Than waking up freezing cold And only thawing out To go stand in the snow Trying to ignore That same sense of dread Whilst letting smiles from strangers Cut you to shreds Then spending nights at home waiting for your family to die Telling yourself you're sick Until it’s no longer a lie Trying not to think about nooses Trying not to think about chairs Trying to find time in between To remind yourself that there’s still a world outside Even though it's pitch black And someday winter might end Someday summer might come back And even though we're cursed, for better or worse Someday this will all be over.

about

Our latest full length, released in Japan in late September 2016 on Waterslide Records and released everywhere else on October 14th 2016 on Asian Man Records/Round Dog Records.

Recorded and produced by Matt Allison at Atlas Studios, Chicago. Additional tracking by Dan Tinkler and Justin Yates.

Album lineup:

Fraser Murderburger - vocals and guitar
Zack Gontard - guitar and vocals
Intruder Yellow - bass and vocals
Intruder Red - drums
Adam Fletcher - additional vocals

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released October 14, 2016

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The Murderburgers UK

Pop punk from Scotland on Asian Man Records/Brassneck Records/Umlaut Records/Waterslide Records. Also on indefinite hiatus since Dec 1st 2019.

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